You guys broke up, now what?

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We have all been there. No matter if you were in the actual exclusive dating phase, or the just friends who happen to be slightly more than friends. In my twenty-six years of existing on this planet, I cannot tell you how many times I have been dumped, or have dumped someone. I am going to explain the worst kind of break up, the long term relationship.

Having recently had a falling out with someone I cared about, I basically shut down. Sometimes I wanted to go out and attempt to replace him, but there were so many times where I did not even feel excited about the aspect of moving from my room. I would try and talk to my friends about how I was feeling, but there were just things that no one could understand as much as I did. The only person that helped me out, was me.

  1. Get a hobby! I know, I sound like your mother. The number one thing that helps you move on is to get under someone else is to get your mind off of it girl! Adult coloring books are all the rage, and you know what, they work. They are super enjoyable, and you get some sweet artwork out of it. You also have this oppressed aggravation, which you can totally turn into your best body ever. I definitely do not fall into this category, my idea of a cardio workout is going to the grocery store to buy more food. You can also start a blog, ever since I decided to start this little project, it has been consuming my mind. I have found myself reading about CSS for fun…thrilling I know!
  2. Learn how to talk about it to your friends. It was your relationship, and guess what…people do not keep up with your relationship as much as you think. There are so many times where I brought up things that had happened or things that were going on, and my friends had no idea. They do not want to know details (unless they are perfect, and you better keep them!). They want to know how you are feeling, and how they can make you happy. Trust me, friends and family want the best version of you, not this sad version who binge watches Pretty Little Liars and buys the value bags of Lindt Truffles at Costco. Have a night and get a few close friends together, grab a bottle of wine, and rent a movie. Talk about where everyone is in their lives, and you will not seem like you are just talking about yourself.
  3. If you can, get away. A couple years ago, I had a serious relationship end in
    potentially the worst way possible. It was not that he did not want to continue dating me, but his mother just could never see me in their family. As soon as I was able to, I went to visit my family in DC. I was lucky enough to be able to stay for up to a month. Spent a ton of time alone, and was able to basically reset myself. After that trip, I realized what was important to me, and most importantly, I learned to love myself again. The quicker you are able to put your focus back on you, the better off you are.

So those are just a couple things, short, sweet, and to the point. Break ups suck, and they will happen until you find that one person who will fix everything. Since then, I have landed in an amazing place, and found someone who makes me genuinely happy. Trust me, it takes time, and it is never fun (that’s why there is wine!). My mother always tells me that when you think you cannot make it anymore, that is when things turn around, and you just have to keep going.


-Stuey

 

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